Thoughts and happenings of a swinger, sometimes porn actress, and slut. Definitely NSFW.
Thanks!. Well, if you’ve been reading my Tumblr for a while, you know that one of the main reasons i set it up was to be a resource for other women getting into the swing lifestyle. And whether you know it or not, you’re describing a very popular “thing” in the LS: she plays, he watches.
That said, different couples have different motivations (don’t worry, i’m getting to your question). If this is just a kink for your enjoyment, well, i promise you that won’t work very well. The question you should be asking yourself is “what can she, and we get out of this” NOT “how can i get her to act out my hot fantasy”.
Anyway, as I see it, this particular kink breaks down in a few basic ways (of course everyone has their own take). We know a couple where the woman is really an exhibitionist — she gets all excited showing off for her husband, who likes to jack off watching her with her latest trophy boy. Of course, you’ll run into the “cuckold” fantasy couple also. More common is the girl who likes more than one at a time (that would be me, btw). She’ll have Hubs paying attention to her, while she fucks or sucks someone else.
So in therms of your fantasy, by far the easiest is eventually attending a swing club or cruise together sometime down the road. But the journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step, so Take Your Time. But, also, do act on this, because in my opinion, the lifestyle is a Very Good Time for women.
In order for me to help you help her, specifically, please look at, and answer the following questions:
1. Do you have good communication about things in general, and sex in particular?
2. How often do you talk about sex, and her feelings, and things she might like to try that you haven’t yet?
3. Does she subscribe to Cosmo? Have you asked her about any of their “hot sex” articles?
4. Do you watch porn together? If so what kind?
5. Has she ever expressed interest in a threesome or other “boundary testing?”
6. Do you have good sexual compatibility? (ie, are you both equally adventurous, or is one more than the other)
7. Which of you tends to be more dominant sexually?
8. And finally, why do you think you have this fantasy? Will it strenghthen or weaken your relationship?